Last updated: Today (Still in Beta)
We only care about roasting websites, not stalking you. We collect the bare minimum: the URL you enter and basic analytics. No creepy tracking, no selling data, no BS. Your data is safer here than your website's user experience.
When You Roast a Site (Free):
When You Pay for Full Analysis:
URL Data: To generate your roast. That's it.
Email: To send your paid report. We don't spam. We're too busy roasting.
Analytics: To see if people actually use this thing.
We use cookies for:
No tracking cookies. No advertising cookies. No evil cookies.
Google PageSpeed API: When available, we use Google's API to get real performance data. Google has its own privacy policy. We assume they're already tracking you anyway.
Stripe: Handles payments. We never see your card details. They're the adults in the room.
We don't sell, trade, or share your data. Period. We're not Facebook. The only thing we share is brutal honesty about terrible websites.
You have the right to:
This service is for adults who can handle criticism. If you're under 18, get parental permission before we destroy your website's feelings.
In the unlikely event of a breach, we'll notify affected users. But honestly, if hackers want to steal roasts about bad websites, they need better hobbies.
We roast websites globally. Your data might cross borders, but your bad design is universal.
We might update this policy. Major changes will be announced. Minor changes will be as subtle as your website's call-to-action buttons.
Privacy concerns? Email: privacy@yoursite.com
Want to argue about data collection? Email: seriously@dontbother.com
You have extra rights because California. We still don't sell your data. We still don't care about tracking you. Your website still needs work.
You have even more rights because Europe. We're compliant. We process data lawfully. Your website's cookie banner is probably more annoying than ours.
Bottom line: We respect your privacy more than you respect web standards.